Want You Bad
by Sasi
Summary: What started out, as a date, became something else entirely! My take on the Relena Finds Out. rated for mild adult content boy-boy relations


I don't usually write song fics, I find them rather unoriginal. With that in mind, this is going to be different from others that I've read. Feel free to R&R as well as tell me how horrible I am. I love all comments no matter how negative they are. So, give me your best shot!  
  
Pairing: 1+2 (not going to add any others)  
  
Warnings: AU, PWP, some OOC, slight Yaoi (duh), song fic, mild Relena bashing, NO SPANDEX! (he needed the change), takes place sometime after the end of the war and EW never happened. This is done purely for the fun of it, and is therefore, silly and pointless!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own, have owned, will own, Gundam Wing or the characters therein. I also do not own Offspring, or their song "Want You Bad" of which I'm borrowing for this one shot. Nobody wants to sue me; I don't even have my own computer, much less anything of value, so forget about it!  
  
This is for the friend that inspired and prodded me to do a fan-fic to the song, here's to you tigereyes!  
  
*****  
  
Relena sat waiting at a table outside the Café de Cocoa. She smoothed down her pink taffeta dress with matching pink wrist gloves. Vivid blue eyes scanned the passing crowd as she searched for her guest. It was getting late and he hadn't showed. Heero had always been punctual in the past, for him, being late didn't seem possible.  
  
The waiter refilled her water glass for the third time. She gave him the barest hint of a smile before glancing back towards the road. Toying with a lock of honeycombed hair and worrying her lower lip she was starting to wonder if this had been a bad idea. She sighed, her gaze falling to the tabletop, 'he's not coming' she thought. Just as she was about to get up and leave a shadow fell over her. Lifting her head she smiled brightly.  
  
He stood there staring at her with his usual unreadable expression. Today found him wearing black denim jeans, a deep purple tee shirt under a black leather jacket, and black boots. His dark brown hair seemed messier to her.  
  
"Heero! I'm so glad, I thought you weren't." her warm greeting cut short as her gaze fell on the young man standing next to her beloved.  
  
The corners of her mouth drooped slightly in annoyance. She hadn't expected, Duo Maxwell, of all people, to be coming. He was tall, lean, and overly cheerful. He had the strangest violet-blue eyes, which seemed to laugh at her. His long chestnut colored hair always pulled back in a braid. Duo's outfit consisted, from head to toe, of black cloth.  
  
He grinned at her, "Heya, Relena-sama! Sorry we're late, I had to take Hee- chan shopping first."  
  
She continued to frown, turning in her chair to look at Heero, "Why is he here? This is our date."  
  
"He's got something to tell ya, don'cha Hee-chan?" Duo said, poking Heero in the side.  
  
Heero glanced over at Duo who nodded. Relena wasn't sure what was going on, though, she suspected she wouldn't like it. She didn't know how right she was.  
  
Pulling a guitar from out of nowhere, presumably the same place he kept his gun, Heero began to play. Duo ran across the street to the music store and returned with two other men carrying a drum set. He then gabbed a chair from a near by table and joined Heero.  
  
Relena stared at them, her jaw hanging open, they were actually quiet good. She was about to inquire what this had to do with their date when Heero began to sing.  
  
"If you could only read my mind, you would know that things between us, ain't right,"  
  
His fingers flew along the instrument with ease in counterpoint to Duo's pounding rhythm. Heero continued to sing on ignoring the gathering crowd.  
  
"I know your arms are open wide, but you're a little on the straight side, I can't lie,"  
  
Another pause in the lyrics and Heero jumped up onto the table. He kicked the items off its surface and proceeded to drop down onto his knees. His piercing blue gaze held her tightly in their grasp.  
  
"Your one vice, is you're too nice, come around now can't you see,"  
  
She couldn't think, it was too much to understand. What could he be singing about? It couldn't be her.could it? The next part of the song both men sang.  
  
"I want you, all tattooed, I want you bad,"  
  
This prompted someone in the crowd to tear off their shirt, who flaunted a myriad of tattoos on both their front and back. Relena still sat clueless.  
  
"Complete me, mistreat me, I want you bad bad bad bad, bad,"  
  
Again there was a halt of words as the two men jammed. Heero got off the table, walked towards Duo, half way he spun back around.  
  
"If you could only read my mind, you would know that I've been waiting, so long,"  
  
Relena gave the 'awwww you just got me a puppy' face. She knew he cared for her! This was just one big misunderstanding. Heero's expression changed slightly as he continued.  
  
"For someone almost just like you, but with attitude, I've waited, so come on,"  
  
Affronted and pissed off, she jumped to her feet. Her eyes narrowed as she made her way over to Heero. When she spoke it rose in pitch and volume to be heard over the music.  
  
"And just what do you mean by all of this!"  
  
He ignored her, pulling her pink sun-hat off her head revealing hot pink streaked tresses. She yelped, backing away quickly, her face turned a shade of pink to match her dress. Shaking his head, Heero pressed onward.  
  
"Get out of clothestime, grow out those highlights, come around now can't you see,"  
  
The crowd was really getting into it. They were acting as though this was some rock concert and the sidewalk was a mosh pit. Girls were fainting, guys were yelling and the whole street was blocked by wall to wall bodies. There were even people dancing on top of parked cars and a few on some of the moving ones as well. And still Heero sang on, this time to Duo.  
  
"I want you, in a vinyl suit, I want you bad,"  
  
Duo grinned impishly and waggled his eyebrows, "We'll see."  
  
Heero smirked as he went on with the song.  
  
"Complicated, X-rated, I want you bad bad bad bad, bad, bad,"  
  
There was a short interlude, the music slowing down, as Heero sauntered over towards Relena. All around her she could see lighters held high in the air and people were starting to make-out in broad daylight. She could hear police sirens in the distance. Her eyes met Heero's.  
  
"Don't get me wrong, I know you're only being good. But that's what's wrong, I guess I just misunderstood, yeah!"  
  
The music picked back up as Heero threw himself into the crowd. Eagerly, they lifted the man high over their heads, passing him around like a joint, as Heero played on. The rhythm grew to a fevered pitch as Heero repeated his demand.  
  
"I want you, all tattooed, I want you bad,"  
  
Girls in attendance started throwing articles of clothing and phone numbers at both ex-Gundam pilots. Duo, still grinning, began counting them. Heero ignored them unless they happen to fall on his head or got in the way of his playing.  
  
"Complicated, X-rated, I want you bad,"  
  
The song was winding down and Heero was placed once more in the center. He stood there for a moment before stalking over to Duo.  
  
"I mean it, I need it, I want you bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, really really bad,"  
  
The last cord struck and the crowd went wild. Sometime during the performance the police had arrived only to join in the fun. With the song finished they hastened to get everyone moving. The only person who refused to budge was Relena. She was rooted to the spot. She rubbed her eyes, not believing the spectacle she was seeing.  
  
Not more than a few feet away, stood *her* Heero, one hand firmly gripping Duo's chin while the other held back his axe. Heero leaned in and he kissed Duo fiercely on the lips. This went on for sometime 'til Relena's addled brain started working again. She started towards them. She got as far as two steps when she was grabbed from behind.  
  
Twisting around, she glared at the man, "Let go of me! Don't you know who I am?"  
  
"Lady, I don't care if you're the Queen of England, you're going to have to move along. If you refuse I'll have to take you downtown," the officer said matter-of-factly. "Now, move it missy!"  
  
"But!! HEERO!!!!!" she cried at the top of her lungs as she was dragged away.  
  
At the sound of his name being bellowed, Heero pulled away from Duo, his gun appearing in his hand. His words were drowned out by the assembled mass of policemen trying to return the street to normal.  
  
Duo smirked, "You're gonna kill me, eh? Might I suggest ya wait 'til we get home first? They would arrest us of indecent exposure if ya don't, hehehe."  
  
Heero considered this for a moment. With a nod of his head, and putting his guitar away, he grabbed Duo's hand. With no resistance he pulled Duo to his feet. Leaving the drums behind, Duo allowed Heero to lead him away from the crowd.  
  
A woman dressed in a black leather trench coat grinned at the pair. Her mirrored sunglasses hiding her eyes from view. On the breeze she could hear one of them humming the song that just moments before had the street in chaos. The other saying something about twenty-three numbers, twelve bras, and nineteen sets of panties.  
  
She turns to you the reader, "that's a wrap! Cut!"  
  
~the end~  
  
*****  
  
AN: Wow, this didn't take long at all! I had some other ideas for this but all fell short. I hope you found this entertaining or at the very least amusing. I certainly enjoyed writing it! *smiles* this is my first song fic and my first fan-fic to be posted on FF.net! 


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